Season Five: Episode Three 

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Author’s Note:  I would like to take time out to thank a very awesome person, Brian .  I don’t believe that this episode review would have not been possible without his help. Dear Visitor if you have time take a minute and to Brian’s site “Square One. Org” ( found in the links section of this blog )  .  It was an inspiration to me and without it I think I wouldn’t have came this far.  Once again thank you for your kind Generosity.

In this music filled episode, we learn that Gerbil’s have personality and We also learn that learn that “Without Math” is a love song!?


A formal Mathnet University alumni Carol Devillbis  calls on Pat and George to look into a possible Payola scam involving the record company “Off the Record”.


Pat comes in to work (nearly avoiding Sgt. Abruzzi’s advances toward her) to find something stranger going on in the room with George.   Pat asks George about his weekend and notices a gerbil cage on the desk.   George tells her that he has traded off Martha’s cat for a gerbil.   George did the switch while Martha was away at a hand gliding competition at Mount Rushmore.   Pat notices a tape on her desk.   George tells her that Martha has taped their performance of “Without Math” at their dinner party.   He brought the tape in so Pat could see it.   They watch the tape the song “Without Math” talks about life with the need for math (an unlined song love song about two people who are in love and can’t live without each other) and it complications.  Capt. Greco comes in near the end of the song.  When the song ends He is impressed that they have this hidden talent and tells that there singing abilities might come in handy for their next assignment. Capt. Greco tells them that a lady name Carol Devillbis, who is a formal, graduate of Mathnet University (Before George and Pat’s time there) and who now works for a record company name “Off The Record” needs their help.   Carol believes that there is something wrong going on there.   They head to “Off the Record” and speak with Carol.  Carol tells them about how the record company has change ownership to a computer man name Morris Norris.   Morris is mixing up the songs to make them a number 1 hits, they type of mixing he does is cross genre mixing.   Carol believe that “Off the Records “is using Payola (When a record company bribes disc jockeys to play one of their songs) to get airtime.  Carol tells are only three top disc jockeys in New York.  Carol gives Pat a list of the names.  Pat and George leaves to talk with Murray the Mouth.   Murray believes that Pat and George are the new messengers for Payola.

The next morning, Pat comes into find George exercising George Jr. (gerbil).   Capt. Grecco and Benny come in.  Benny tells them that none of the three DJs interviewed is allowed to take Payola because of the music committees.  All the music being played on the radios has to go through a play to committee to get the music on air.  Capt. Greco believes that it is maybe Flyola.  Benny notices George’s pet gerbil; he also notices that the little gerbil is nawing on something.  George tells him he is teething so he thought that George Jr.  should “Bite the Bullet”. Capt. Greco goes on to tell them about Payola.  The record company would pay for a vacation trip to anywhere the DJs wanted as a incentive to play the music.  If the DJ refuses the ticket was turned into cash.   Benny goes over the charts and finds nothing unusual.  Pat believes that if they are doing something underhanded it would be hard for them to find out.  Benny suggests that they go undercover.  Pat and George decide to talk to Carol to see if she had any work they could do undercover.  Carol tells them that she has no authority and that she has one album left before the company releases her from her Job.   George comes up with an ideal this leads to Pat and George singing “Without Math” in front of Carol.

The next morning, Capt. Greco comes in to the office to see a rocker messing with George Jr.  He soon discovers that it is George dressed up in undercover clothes.  A few minutes later, Pat comes into the room dressed in similar clothing.  This new appearance shocks Capt. Greco and then he starts to crack jokes at their expense. Pat tells them that Carol is recording their song today and that they are going undercover as an act called “The Googols”.   A few seconds later to top it all off Benny comes dressed in full country gear.  After seeing Benny Capt. Greco decides to call it quits and leaves the room. Benny goes over some more charts. He found that the top 7 song are all one-hit wonders.  The real question is why did the record company continue to record these acts?  Later that day, after recording “Without Math” Pat and George meets Morris Norris.  Morris does not know anything about production of music and it shows.  He asks Carol to let him name Pat and George’s song when it is finish.  As Morris was leaving out he had forgotten a bunch of Airplane tickets.  George starts to investigate them until Morris comes back for them.  A week later, Pat and George’s song renamed “Don’t leave, Just stay, I’ll go” has made into the top 10.  Capt. Greco tells them that maybe he knows what he is doing. Pat believes that Morris is a crooked.

The next morning Pat comes into find George messing around with George Jr. George is teaching him to eat with a full head of lettuce.  Carol called and gave George the airline that “Off the Record” uses.  George check on it and finds out that it is for Morris’s sales staff and He is taking them all to Cleveland to see him get inducted into the Rock n Roll hall of fame. Benny comes with a Boom box (old school) playing Pat and George’s hit song now at number 3 on the billboards singles.  Capt. Greco comes in with some charts. He tells them if the pattern holds true there song which has been in the heavy rotation on the radio, dental office, and Doctor Offices will guarantee them a number one hit.  George receives a call and that they are needed outside.  They meet a former band named “The What”.  They had a number one hit and it sold millions.  They left “Off the Records” because they were never paid and when they moved to another record company their next album bomb.  This also happen to the other artist that was with “Off the Record”.  Back at the office, Pat checks “The What “Story with other artists.  All the other groups told her a similar story.  Meanwhile, The Googols Single was at number 2.  George was looking over a chart.  He notices that sales for the records was similar to one another and that one of the sells numbers was the exact same as The Googols first week of sales.  Pat looks around the room and notice that George Jr.  Has a melon in his cage.   George tells Pat that George Jr. has eaten the lettuce and is now working on desert.  George plans to exercise him if George Jr.  is to full to move he plans on dragging the poor thing to the horror Pat.  Benny comes in to tell them what he has found out about Morris Norris.   Morris was a computer programmer before he took the job at “Off the Records”.  Benny shows them the sale orders.   George realizes that the orders and the sales are not matching up.

Pat and George speak with A.G, He tell them that his company only reports what the stores tell them about the sales.  A.G looks over some of the data on his computer from the seven records.   What he finds out is that the actual sales that were reported to his company are only in the double digits and they are all from the same store in New York.  A.G tells them that is has to be something else going on.  Pat and George returns to the office, where George mopes over George Jr. being listless.  Pat and George start arguing over what food George is giving him.  It turns out to be Chili for breakfast (YUCK!).   Benny comes in a crack jokes until George has a (House moment).   They look at the charts and find out that the computer may be programmed to notice pattern involving commas.  Each song has at least two commas in them including The Googol’s song.  Pat believes that Morris hack into G.R.E’s ( Rating Company) main computer and programed it recognize any song with a comma and multiply it sale figures by 10, 131.  Morris sends someone down to the record store to buy any album from off the records.  This was reported as the fake figure and then the DJ pushed the records from the fake figure and making it become real.  George comes up with a plan involving Murray the Mouth.  Later that day, Pat and George returns undercover in their Google clothes and to YME Radio Station to meet with Murray the Mouth.  At the Station, Murray is interviewing Morris Norris until a surprise happen when the googols along with Carol and Benny show up.   They give Morris a new CD of their Album.  Murray asks Morris to predict the first week’s sale of the new album.   After convincing and playing “Oh, So, Whoa” Morris falls into the trap everyone predicts the same answer.  Back that office, Pat and George tells Capt. Greco the details about the arrest.   Carol has been offered the A & R position in the new company.  She offers Pat and George (The Googols) to be her first signed artist.  Pat and George decline the offer.  George walks over to George Jr. cage and finds that George Jr. is missing and the window is open.  Benny tells him that George Jr. was despondent the other day implying that George Jr. may have committed suicide George finds his suicide note  it reads “ Thanks for your help, I have had an offer to do my own show in Hollywood catch me on the rich and the gerbils”.   Everyone laughs.

My Two Cents

This is one of my favorites!  It is one those wonderful, Strange, Whack-out episodes that I really like.  You have two of my favorite artists Melba Moore and Weird Al in this episode.  It was a very funny episode.  Pat and George singing “Without Math” is hilarious.  I think “Without Math” is a undercover love song.  George Jr. and George really made the show for me.  I just love how in this episode you can really see how Pat was getting freak out near the end.   I also can see why George Jr.  left in the end.  But, in reality it is highly likely that George Jr. Passed away in the middle of the night and one of the janitors decided to take it away.  Knowing how George is they left a note messing just to mess with him.   The last song  to the is hilarious “Oh, So, Whoa”.   The singing is awesome it proves that Toni and Joe are very talented.  Although I was kind of disappointed that Melba Moore did not sing in this.  She is such a gifted singer.

Companion Episode

In this episode from the third Season.  Kate and George investigate the kidnapping of a Broadway star while trying to prove that Kate’s friend is innocent.

Next Time

We leave the world of music to enter the dark and deadly world of the Bermuda Triangle.   When a young woman contacts Pat and George to help her search for a lost ship rumored to have treasure.